1. |
Sunset
03:46
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I have another small update for you. The sun is setting as I talk to you right now. It’s… indescribable, really. But, I will try my best. The sun is nestled right between a crook of two peaks directly in my line of sight. The sky is reacting to this, spitting out waves of purple and orange, and even some green. They’re all blending together to make a perfect gradient that can really only be experienced. It’s calming, to say the least. Right now, two people are watching this sunset, but they’re not here. They’re far away, or maybe close, but definitely not here. But, wherever they are, they’re seeing the same sunset I am. And they’re together, holding each other. Reflecting on their lives and projecting their own memories onto this sunset, just as I am doing now. If you’re out there and seeing this sunset, I’d love to know what you’re reminiscing about. I’d love to reminisce with you.
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2. |
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She wanted to leave. She said it wasn't safe anymore. She asked me if I ever loved her. I told her I did. She said she didn't believe me.
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3. |
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I don't know where she is now. I don't know if I'll ever see her again. I don't know if I want to. I don't know what she thinks of me. I want to believe she loves me. I want to believe she loved me.
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4. |
Departure
02:23
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She was the last one here with me, and she's dead now. First Sera leaves, and now Hayley is dead. There's no point in staying. The house doesn't seem like the house anymore. My room is not my room. My bed is not my bed. I'm not welcome here anymore. What more is there for me to do here? Nothing, I suppose. I'll probably head out west. Maybe I can find something there worth working on. Maybe someone there can find me.
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5. |
Rediscovered
02:31
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I found a place, nestled right at the base of a lone mountain. No one's here. It's all me. I wish there were people, but I can make due by myself. There's a radio station here, I might be able to use it to convince others to come here. I hope they'll answer my call. I'm tired of being left alone. I could use some company.
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6. |
Dream/Wake Interlude
03:18
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I'm here and I'm not.
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7. |
Starry Night
01:35
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I dreamt about it again. My journey. I don't know why it keeps returning to me. I've been here over a month and I still can't keep it out of my head. Sera's departure. Hayley's death. My departure. It all keeps coming back to me. I'm looking out at the stars right now. I used to never see them. Now they're all I see.
For now my head is all shadows at dawn, made of shapes I know but are too dark to remember. The light casting these shadows is the same as the sunset. It makes me stop and think which way the world and I are turning.
The shapes don’t remind me of you, they are you. Some people say God is all around us, I say you’re choking me with your presence.
What our love was wasn’t a prison, but now it feels like walls and shackles and bars and cement. Kisses taste like a sick sugar, hugs feel like a cold burn.
Scratches feel the most natural.
The sun continues to rise as I contemplate all of this, but maybe the world is just in reverse.
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Safe/Strong/Alive recommends:
...BECAUSE I'M YOUNG ARROGANT AND HATE EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR
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